The hopes and fears of all the years…

If it weren’t for the whole “work” thing, today would be a pretty good day. The wife and I went camping this weekend, and I actually feel relaxed for a change. Aside from the CGM sensor failing to detect the high at 4am Sunday morning and the following low later in the morning, things were pretty calm diabetes-wise. I even made it through a 7-ish mile hike without any severe blood sugar fluctuations, which is a rarity in my hiking experience.

More importantly though, today is our 6 year wedding anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it has been great. Even though I try to be self-sufficient when it comes to managing my health, my lovely wife is always around to help if I need it, and she tries as best as she can to understand when I get frustrated. We actually talked a good bit this weekend about having kids (since we’re the only “barren” couple in her family now), and specifically, about my fear of my child having to live with this disease. On the way out of town Saturday morning, we were in line at Wendy’s (I know, rustic, huh?) behind a family with a little girl that couldn’t have been more than 3 years old. I noticed the dad was wearing a JDRF Walk for a Cure shirt, but didn’t really think anything of it until he told the little girl that she had to go sit down so mommy could check her blood sugar. It breaks my heart to see someone that young with diabetes…even though I’ve been going through the same routine for 17+ years, I was old enough when I was diagnosed that I could at least somewhat comprehend what it meant. I can’t imagine a child that young having to live her whole life with this, not really knowing life without diabetes. I admire all of you parents of diabetic kids out that that deal with this every day. I’m sure most of you never expected this path in life, but I guess we have to play the cards we are dealt. It is my biggest fear when it comes to raising children…it’s not that I don’t think I can handle it…I just hope for their sake, I don’t have to.

Anyway, today we’re going to celebrate our anniversary and be thankful for what we have, not worry about the “what-ifs”. We’re planning to have a lovely dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. I’m sure I’ll completely blow my estimate on the carb count, but tonight, I don’t care.


2 comments so far

  1. Gary on

    Sounds like you and I are on the same page about kids with T1. Rough stuff. “Heartbreaking” is how I like to describe it.

    Enjoy your anniversary dinner tonight! You can always ‘fix’ the high later. 😉

    • Look4acure on

      You know, it’s true, we shouldn’t worry about tomorrow, because we just don’t know. My husband is hard of hearing (inherited now thru 3 generations). That, at the time, was our worst fear as parents…that our child would be hard of hearing. We were SO happy when his test at the hospital came back fine for hearing. Without any diabetes in the family, we weren’t even thinking that our kid could end up with Type 1 diabetes. BUT, we walked out of the hospital the day of the diagnosis saying, “There are a lot of parents that got MUCH worse news today. We CAN manage this.” Not easy, but we are. Live for today!!

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