No, not that kind of money problems, exactly. It’s not that I don’t have any (brief pause for Happy Gilmore quote…”I like money. I have some…I’d like more. That’s where you come in.“), the problem is that the money I do have is apparently useless.
To be more specific, not all of my money is useless. Just the part that I keep in my drawer at work for emergencies. I suppose everyone is entitled to their own definition of “emergency“, but for me, that includes needing candy or crackers for treating a low, and also the occasional caffeine fix. Normally I bring my own caffeine from home, but sometimes you need a little extra, you know? Anyway, today I needed something for a persistent low after lunch, so I went to the trusty change tray to gather supplies for a vending machine assault. Normally there’s a decent amount of change in there, left over from lunch or other various transactions. Today, I had probably $1.50 in the drawer, but unfortunately that consisted of a dollar coin and a shit ton of pennies, which despite being legal tender, were of no assistance in the vending arena. That being the case, I was forced to borrow money from a friend of mine in the office. Ironically, this is the same friend who has repeatedly told me that if elected president, his first order of business would be to eliminate the penny. So now I still have a low blood sugar, but am also saddled with the guilt of wasting a vote for Obama and not going with the Mike ’08 ticket. Hindsight is 20/20, they say.
Long story short, I finally was able to procure a snack (Twix…yum), but I’m still annoyed that the money I have is, for all practical purposes, worthless. The upkeep of this disease costs me enough money, you’d think I would at be able to put my spare change to use. Thanks a lot, Treasury Department. On a completely unrelated note, anyone need to borrow a dollar? I can totally hook you up.